I've been thinking a lot about if I'm going to write here about what has happened here lately why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling.
First my thought was no I won't, because of respect of that person. But at the same time, seriously, I don't owe him anything. Right now I don't even care if he finds this blog and read this, to be honest that would be good, I don't care :P
Of course I do feel hurt and sad. But mostly I just feel like a total fool.
Have been together with K for it was almost 6 months. Things has been up & down a lot, but every time we have had a down period we have always worked it out. AND he have always said that he want to work things out, that he wanted this. And I was such a fool who believed him.
To make a long story short, he started to treat me really bad. He didn't even say what was going on than, from what I understood he still wanted this than. He than suddenly changes and says that he doesn't want this anymore, Can you imagine how pissed I was?
There's more to the story that I don't feel like writing about, but the thing is that he has walked around probably several weeks knowing this without telling me! Letting me believe that this is what he wanted.
I mean, do I really have a sign on my head saying "I don't have feelings, so you can play and do whatever with me" Because it really do feels like that. Since this situation keep happening over and over again.
I can say that the feelings I had for K, they are gone. The only thing I feel is anger, disappointment. Because I have told him SOO many times that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. I have also told him how I have been treated before and that I was really afraid of being hurt like that again.
And what does he end up doing?! Treat me exactly the way I have told him that I'm afraid of.
He was actually the last person I thought was going to do this. Like I have told him, I understand and know that feelings can change. It happens and it hurts. BUT when you go around and know about it, and not tell the other person and let that person believe that everything is okay and that he wants this. That is NOT okay.
You can probably understand that I'm not feeling the best right now. Mostly because I feel like a fool. And also what the heck is wrong with me since this keep happening over and over again.
Sorry for long post, but I just had to get this out of me.
First my thought was no I won't, because of respect of that person. But at the same time, seriously, I don't owe him anything. Right now I don't even care if he finds this blog and read this, to be honest that would be good, I don't care :P
Of course I do feel hurt and sad. But mostly I just feel like a total fool.
Have been together with K for it was almost 6 months. Things has been up & down a lot, but every time we have had a down period we have always worked it out. AND he have always said that he want to work things out, that he wanted this. And I was such a fool who believed him.
To make a long story short, he started to treat me really bad. He didn't even say what was going on than, from what I understood he still wanted this than. He than suddenly changes and says that he doesn't want this anymore, Can you imagine how pissed I was?
There's more to the story that I don't feel like writing about, but the thing is that he has walked around probably several weeks knowing this without telling me! Letting me believe that this is what he wanted.
I mean, do I really have a sign on my head saying "I don't have feelings, so you can play and do whatever with me" Because it really do feels like that. Since this situation keep happening over and over again.
I can say that the feelings I had for K, they are gone. The only thing I feel is anger, disappointment. Because I have told him SOO many times that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. I have also told him how I have been treated before and that I was really afraid of being hurt like that again.
And what does he end up doing?! Treat me exactly the way I have told him that I'm afraid of.
He was actually the last person I thought was going to do this. Like I have told him, I understand and know that feelings can change. It happens and it hurts. BUT when you go around and know about it, and not tell the other person and let that person believe that everything is okay and that he wants this. That is NOT okay.
You can probably understand that I'm not feeling the best right now. Mostly because I feel like a fool. And also what the heck is wrong with me since this keep happening over and over again.
Sorry for long post, but I just had to get this out of me.
I was really afraid of exactly this happening when I got your letter... There was just so much of exactly what I've been through with another person as well and it totally suzcks to feel so exploited.
SvaraRaderaAnd don't you worry - you're not a fool any more than anyone who ever falls in love. It happened to me twice and I've decided not to fall in love again, at least not till the right one comes along and I will feel it.