There's just so many things going on in my head right now.
I'm just so tired of my life. Hate feeling like crap. Tired of getting hurt.
Tired of bad things happening in my life.
I just want ONE good thing in my life.. ONE..
RIght now I just feel like I want to move far away from here and start a new life.

Merry Christmas!!

But I have to say our show wasn't that bad ;)
I LOVED hearing the full version of this song live :)


My Video

Me and Nick a few hours earlier :)

Why??? Why Nick didn't you perform this in Berlin in May?

Yesterday was a big day for one of the BSB boys! And if you're a big fan, you know what day it was :) AJ & Rochelle's wedding :)
I'm really happy for them because they are such a cute couple :)
I've read news about the wedding on twitter and it seemed to be really cool!
Can't wait to see pics!

This is such a cute pic of them :)


I actually met Rochelle at the cruise, she was really nice.


At the cruise she wasn't searching for so much attention.
But at one point she was a little in public, and it was because of AJ, and I actually got it on video. Thought I could share it!

- todays is not a good day -

Today I'm going to town and buy the last christmas presents (hopefully) but I can't say that I'm excited about going to town when I look outside.
Yesteraday it was a snowstorm.... and today as well. This sucks! But I have to go in anyway. Have some other things to buy as well.

Gotta go!


Outisde my window. (it's snowing more than it looks like)

Right now I'm just pissed at the BSB Fanclub.. I wonder if they can do something fair EVER?
This years cruise is over since a few days back, and I have been calm all weekend because this year didn't seem to be as much fun as the last one.
Anyways, during the cruise Justin (their photographer at the fanclub) takes LOADS of pictures. He did at our cruise as well, but we NEVER got to see any of those pictures :( We have been waiting and waiting.. now it's over a year ago.. And now. This years cruise was over 3 days ago. And they have ALREADY added pictures on the fanclub from it. I'm so pissed. Since I really want to see ours as well. I wonder if they can do anything right at that place :(
Luckily I have my own pictures to look at ;)

Sophie, to your questions, the guys have a contract for 3 cruises, which means one more. And it has always been in December. But on this cruise the boys said that they wanted it to be in the summer, and it won't be this summer. So probably summer 2013 :) But it still can be in December of 2012.

My dad's surgery was cancelled yesterday. But they are doing it this morning instead. At least that's what he told me last night. I haven't heard from him today so I think the surgery is on. I don't know the word in English.. :P But he has something called Ljumskbråck. It's not that serious but it's still a surgery. Hopefully he will be okay!

Thought I could share some pics from my cruise last year since I've been talking so much about it lately ;)

Here's Lido Deck where all the Deck Party's was


Our ship in Key West, Florida


Howie, Nick and AJ at the Black & Blue Party


From the concert on the cruise


Me and my friends on the meet & greet


Nick at the Beach Party


Brian and Leighanne at the Masqurade night


The Boys at the Q&A


The boys at the Welcome Cocktail Party


Me and AJ's fiancée Rohelle before the concert

I'm so tired of all the illness around me, my dad needs a surgery :(
when will things calm down?

It looks like the next cruise will be in the summer 2013! Hope so!
Not in December next year! In 1½ year would be perfect so I can
save money for it ;)

This weekend it's time for the 2nd BSB Cruise.
And as you can see I'm not there, there are many reasons why I decided not to go.
One of the main reasons was that I don't think it will be the same this year, it's one day
less, it's the full boat (which means MORE crazy fans) and many other reasons.
And of course it's expensive, but I think that if I really wanted to go, I think I would have
the money.
This weekend I'm trying to avoid everything that has to do with the cruise, we'll see how that
goes :P

One year ago it was us boarding that ship for a crazy adventure



(I know the quality sucks, but it was the only I could find right now)